I look for the truth in you

I posted this photo of my body not because I am looking for attention (I get that easily walking down the street with a sword), but because I believe that the physical body is a representation of the mind. If you have the patience to read through the concepts along the path below you will come to the “why” of the photo.

Concepts such as perseverance, focus, mindfulness, peak-performance, and serenity…these all work under a calm and clear mind. But as any stressor on the body has a big effect on one’s balance, gravity, sense of self, load, and ability to engage with physical surroundings (I.E. a baby starts to discover the “need”, first in a thought form, to “walk” and quickly goes through a solitary football practice where fall upon fall upon head to floor, upon bruises, upon face to wall, natural stressors help push the young being into an even greater need to walk. Baby projected translation; “Ok, this middle ground thing hurts, I either need to stay on all fours or I need to figure out balance, fast.”) so too is any stressor on the mind, having similar physical effects. (Molecules of Emotion, Energy Medicine, The Great Human Diasporas).

After my mom passed away after proteins took over her brain (an organ I reference frequently in Jungshin) and made it impossible for her to understand life at all, on any terms, I experienced a stressor so powerful that it changed the shape of my body. I want to share this because the experience of loss is a serious stressor and when we as professionals work with our clients particularly on weight loss I believe it serves us to take in the entire story, as weight gain may indeed be the kindest form of therapy at a given point in time. If we take the weight away before the individual is ready, we can have the reverse effect long term resulting in more weight gain and many more problems. [1]

As in anyone who has experienced loss and with deep respect to you reader, we take it in differently and this is my experience; first the feeling of, ‘I’m out of control’, watching mom’s body and brain deteriorate over 3 years. Then, the death part, ‘Is she really dead?’ and the complete disconnection with life and death for a few months, then the grief, ‘ my body cannot tolerate this emotion-(energy in motion)-it is too small, I am too weak.’ Then the weight gain not planned of course, but the necessary way my body coped with the stressor of the loss of a loved one. I don’t remember eating more or drinking more or anything actually but here is what I am now understanding after 8 months post losing mom and allowing the grief to turn into gratitude; A thought of “she’s gone and I need her back” caused more pain in my heart than the strong muscle/organ could process so the body of course thought, ‘I’m dying too’, and began to eat and put on weight to protect the most vulnerable part of the body, the gut. For months I had no interest in training hard nor did I care about getting in shape at all. I just cared about getting the basics done; feed kid, work, earn, be kind, get sleep. Then something miraculous happened! All the work I had been doing on visioning and goals and actions started to take hold of me. The right people started to show up in my life again, I started to accept mom’s body was gone and thank god for her because no one should suffer through any brain disease or any disease ever, and slowly my mind became clear once again, through the tools I use (the work of Byron Katie, the Hoffman Process, support systems, sharing with friends) and I discover my body naturally wants to work out again. It’s truly amazing to watch a clear mind create a healthier body. I knew for Jungshin I needed to be in better shape but nothing except going Screen Shot 2016-03-26 at 8.22.28 PM (1)inwards and allowing the body to hold the emotion worked. The next time someone comes to you and wants to lose weight please just make sure their heart is ready to feel whatever it may be holding in under the weight.

Love, Annika

[1] Please watch the movie, Concussion for a tribute to the brain and what happens when we “hit” our heads. Yes, it is true that repetitive stressors to the skull and head cause similar proteins as found in Lewy Body or Alzheimer’s, to build up in the brain often giving pro-athletes similar dispositions as those of dementia patients. Pro-athletes, that is, with head injuries.



2 thoughts on “I look for the truth in you

  1. Looks great, thank you.

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    All the best

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